“I’d rather live in a gutter” is what an elderly mother once said in response to her seven adult children fighting over her rather expensive care. Money wasn’t the issue, but the conflict lived on. Mediation was ultimately the answer. However, the mother, who previously had a happy family, had to endure years of turmoil, guilt, and a fractured family that she loved so much. Dementia doesn’t protect our elders from emotional upheaval. While it is sad to watch family members decline, it is also an opportunity for the next generation to make the last years of their parents’ lives as peaceful as possible. How do we do that? • If arguments start happening, bring in a mediator sooner rather than later. Many families wait until there is litigation and that’s too late. • A family counselor can also be helpful to provide a sounding board so that all voices can be heard. In that way, it is similar to … Read More
Gray Divorce: Why are 20+ Year Marriages Ending?
Research over the past five years has indicated that the highest divorce rate in the U.S. is in this demographic. The divorce rate in this category has doubled since the 1990s and is predicted to triple by 2030. Why? 1. Adult children leave home. Too often when couples have children, their relationship takes a second seat to being parents. When the children, which were the glue that held the marriage together, leave home, the child-centered parents may start wondering, “Why are we together?” There may be simply too much distance between them to rebuild their marriage. 2. Personal growth differences. If couples don’t take the time to communicate and discuss their personal growth in-depth, they often go in different directions, or, one partner grows, and the other doesn’t. Sometimes desires have been sublimated to avoid conflict and that is no longer tolerable. People have awakenings in their lives that don’t include their partner. There often seems to be too big … Read More
6 Ways to Derail a Mediation…
Mediation can be an extraordinary process of resolving conflicts that have been there for years. By its nature, mediation tends to be successful. Over 90% of mediation cases are successful nationwide.
Is It Legal??
Many people do not consider Mediation seriously because they do not think that the outcome will be legal, this is a misconception. Mediation is voluntary and people are free to terminate the process if they choose to do so. People that decide to mediate, complete the process more than 90% of the time. The Parties’ willingness to resolve conflict with each other and complete the mediation process results in a final agreement that is considered a binding legal contract and is recognized by the Courts. Why is this important? Divorce and other conflict related cases are legal processes and determined by the courts. Mediation is powerful because it allows people to step outside of the conflict for a time, to resolve it creatively, and then step back into the legal system to formalize things as a legal binding agreement. Because of that, Mediation can provide the peace and security which allows people to know that a future violation by the other Party would have legal repercussions. Business agreements, parenting … Read More
5 Things Celebrities Can Teach Us About Divorce…
Perhaps you have noticed, celebrities almost universally avoid courtroom drama and prefer Mediation. Why? There are a number of reasons, this article addresses just 5 of them. The driving factors depend on the interest of the individuals to achieve an amicable end goal for everyone involved. 1. CELEBRITIES GENERALLY WANT CONTROL over what information is released to the press. Private Mediations are confidential. Arguments and disagreements fought in the Court System are not Confidential. The public, neighbors, family, friends, and co-workers seek details if they are available. 2. INDIVIDUALS WHO HAVE A HIGH NET WORTH often have complex financial situations. Judges and lawyers generally are not financial specialists. There can, therefore, be a high risk of an unexpected or adverse outcome. A negotiated out-of-court settlement obtained through mediation eliminates risk because both parties must agree. 3. MANY HIGH PROFILE CLIENTS usually do not like being told what to do, and that includes even being told what to do by judges. … Read More