Research over the past five years has indicated that the highest divorce rate in the U.S. is in this demographic. The divorce rate in this category has doubled since the 1990s and is predicted to triple by 2030. Why?
1. Adult children leave home.
Too often when couples have children, their relationship takes a second seat to being parents. When the children, which were the glue that held the marriage together, leave home, the child-centered parents may start wondering, “Why are we together?” There may be simply too much distance between them to rebuild their marriage.
2. Personal growth differences.
If couples don’t take the time to communicate and discuss their personal growth in-depth, they often go in different directions, or, one partner grows, and the other doesn’t. Sometimes desires have been sublimated to avoid
conflict and that is no longer tolerable. People have awakenings in their lives that don’t include their partner. There often seems to be too big a divide to cross.
3. Different goals for the future.
Along with the empty nest syndrome, one parent may feel adrift, while the other is excited for new opportunities in the future. Retirement can cause its own crises. Financial strain can exacerbate the other issues. Decisions about downsizing, moving to be closer to grandchildren, travel, budgeting, new careers, etc., can be stressors on a relationship, especially one that doesn’t have a foundation for being more than parents and workers. Sexual disconnection can certainly occur, particularly if the partners haven’t focused on that during child-rearing years.
Communication issues can be further heightened and an impatience with many new decisions to make, and the years slipping away.
4. Staying married is optional today.
Attitudes about marriage are changing. There is no longer a risk of being socially ostracized if one divorces. Also, couples are more able to split up financially. The traditional household with one earning spouse has been replaced with two earners for decades. People care more about being happy NOW!!
Most of us marry for life, but that does require a commitment to the relationship, and it needs to be ongoing. Sweeping issues under the rug doesn’t work for very long. Hostility and resentment build-up, and then there’s no turning back.
Divorce is expensive and exhausting, both emotionally and financially.
Many see that putting more effort and investment into their primary relationship might have been wise after they’ve gone through a divorce. I can provide information about out-of-court conflict resolution in divorce, custody/ parenting time, families, marriages, workplace disputes, businesses, trusts and estates, real estate, homeowners associations, as well as problem-solving between individuals.
As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, I am qualified to help you sort through the myriad financial issues that you may be encountering.
I am here to support you. Tricia Morris – 808.283.7811 – Tricia@TriciaMorris.com
Nationally Certified Mediator & CDFA®
If couples don’t take the time to communicate and discuss their personal growth in-depth, they often go in different
directions, or, one partner grows, and the other doesn’t.