Mediation can be an extraordinary process of resolving conflicts that have been there for years. By its nature, mediation tends to be successful. Over 90% of mediation cases are successful nationwide. There are, however, some sure ways to unravel the progress that can be achieved. What can unravel this mediation?
1. Dwelling on the past, particularly the grievances.
Mediation is mostly about laying the groundwork for the future. Dwelling on what has happened does not usually help very much and in fact, it can be a way to divert energy and funds away from real resolution.
2. Seeking to convince, and not understand.
This applies to communication with the mediator as well as the other person. Resolution happens when each of the parties really tries to understand the other’s point of view. In that way, they can help the mediator find creative solutions that work for everyone. Problem-solving is not linear or finite. The more the parties and the mediator can open up their minds and see larger possibilities, the more successful the outcomes can be for all concerned.
3. Having side negotiations with the other party.
It rarely helps when the parties carry on side negotiations or pressure is attempted. This happens more than one would think, and generally, does not end well. If the parties could have worked out their disagreements themselves, they usually have had ample opportunity to do so. Once they commit to mediation, it works better to let the process unfold.
4. Hiding important financial or other facts from the mediator.
Some people go to mediation thinking that they have more latitude with disclosure than they would have in court. This is not true. When discovered, not disclosing information also creates distrust and more time and fees to get things back on track. Sometimes outside experts
are required, which can even be more costly.
5. Secretly disposing of assets, or the attempt to do so, in a divorce or a business conflict.
Successful mediation happens when the parties act and communicate in good faith and honesty. In return for this, the parties save tens of
thousands and sometimes millions of dollars in legal costs. If people do not act in good faith, they usually do end up in court and pay for the
breaches many times over.
6. Consulting with friends, family, neighbors, and anyone else who will converse about the potential agreement that you have been working on. Getting legal opinions, parenting evaluation input, thoughts from the rapists or other mental health professionals can be valuable. Your mediator can help with this if needed. Talking to people without sufficient training and background usually just convolutes or even stops the process.
I can provide information about out-of-court conflict resolution in divorce, custody/parenting time, families, marriages, workplace disputes, businesses, trusts and estates, real estate, homeowners associations, as well as problem-solving between individuals. As a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, I am qualified to help you sort through the myriad financial issues that you may be encountering.
I am here to assist you. Tricia Morris – 808.283.7811 – Tricia@TriciaMorris.com | www.TransformConflicts.com